Haughty Blog Title RSS

email me

Ask Me Anything





Visit Hotdog Thunderdome

Archive

May
17th
Fri
permalink

Semi-permanent earworm.



Comments (View)
permalink
  • Neighbor Girl: (While looking at my shoes) Ooh, looks like it's time for new boat shoes!
  • Me: Why do you say that?
  • Neighbor Girl: Yours look like you've been stomping in puddles!
  • Me: I bought them to wear on boats.
  • Neighbor Girl: (blink)
  • Me: They've been splashed on a lot.
  • Neighbor Girl: (blink)
  • Me: You know...
  • Neighbor Girl: (blink)
  • Me: ...because they're boat shoes.
  • Neighbor Girl: (furrows brow)
  • Me: Okay, have a great night!


Comments (View)
May
16th
Thu
permalink
We women, with our sumptuous breasts and our shapely hips, have to be funny in order literally to survive. Our curves render us useless for just about anything except cracking wise and quip-firing. Sometimes our breasts are so big that we actually can’t move; we have no choice but to sit very still in one place and come up with joke after joke. Sometimes—though rare—our hips are so wide, that we physically cannot fit through the exit door of the comedy club that our office co-workers dragged us to after happy hour. So the only option available to us is to stay inside the comedy club, absorbing comedy act after comedy act, and in so doing, completing the full transformation from comedy student to comedy master.


Comments (View)
permalink

O captain, my captain.

(Source: nikkiri, via russianmachineneverbreaks)



Comments (View)
May
15th
Wed
permalink

Comments (View)
permalink
I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain.

Jonathan Carroll (via browndresswithwhitedots)

I’ve been trying to give more compliments when I think them, and omg its so hard. I get so nervous and I feel so like creepy or something, but its always worth it.

(via onelikeyou)

One of the best things I learned during my years of retail was a sort of fearlessness when it comes to complimenting people and doing these little things for people. It really can make someone’s day and it never fails to pick you up as well. It makes you feel like some sort of superhero of joy. Learning to make a habit of doing little things for others infinitely upped the quality of my day-to-day life.

(via laughterkey)

There is that saying “if you can’t say something, say nothing at all.” I had an influential teacher who preached the inverse of that: if you have something nice to say, do say it. Do you like or appreciate something about someone? Tell them. Chances are they don’t know you feel that way, don’t hear it very often, and would really appreciate it. And they’ll probably thank you, and that will probably make you feel good. Think of a time you made someone smile…didn’t you then smile, too?

(via adventuresinblunderland)

Once a total stranger complimented my hair. It was early in the workday last July, so it was down and curly, and thanks to the humidity it was gigantic. I was on my way back into my office from a client meeting and was stressed and unhappy, hiding behind sunglasses and the “I’m busy” George Costanza frown that I default to during the workday. And while waiting for the elevator, a woman that I had never seen in the building before told me that I had beautiful hair. I am still coasting on that compliment.

(Source: jonathancarroll.com, via aspiringpolymath)



Comments (View)
permalink
chuckgivens:

You guys, this exists…and it’s delicious. (at Food Lion)

HOLY CATS.

chuckgivens:

You guys, this exists…and it’s delicious. (at Food Lion)

HOLY CATS.

(via aspiringpolymath)



Comments (View)
permalink

Describe yourself in 3 television characters…

doctorhighfive:

polishq:

oldtobegin:

aliealiealieee:

bronxcheer:

doyourwardance:

dyinggod:

Hank Hill, Tina Belcher, Larry David.

Louise Belcher, Elaine Benes, Brenda Walsh

Gene Belcher, Artie the producer, Laura the receptionist.

leslie knope, alice (superjail), space ghost 

linda belcher, audrey horne, mojo jojo

Dale Cooper, Manny Bianco, Reginald Barclay 

Michael Bluth, Lisa Simpson, Tenth Doctor

Robin Scherbatzky, Lucille Bluth, Rachel Green

(Source: therearedemonsinsideofus)



Comments (View)
May
14th
Tue
permalink
clearlywrong:

fiberistanora:

Awww yeeeah.

OH. MY. GOD.

I never get sick of seeing this cross my dashboard.

clearlywrong:

fiberistanora:

Awww yeeeah.

OH. MY. GOD.

I never get sick of seeing this cross my dashboard.

(via aspiringpolymath)



Comments (View)
May
11th
Sat
permalink

Current earworm

(Source: Spotify)



Comments (View)