Haughty Blog Title

Pandemic Dreams 30

I had a diamond bracelet that I thought was going to be too small, but I put it on and it fit perfectly.

Pandemic Dreams 29

Was very intent on buying an original Gameboy. “The buttons are so much more satisfying than tapping a screen.” Ran into the owner of the (very real) local record shop (which also sells old/used consoles and games) and she let me go through their stock books to see if there were any Gameboys. I don’t know if I found one, but I did find Bugs Bunny’s Crazy Castle and Tetris cartridges.

Pandemic Dreams 27 and 28

Had an intense discussion about my life and future paths with Tarot Reader Peter (I sadly remember none of what was said)

(woke up)

BFF hypothesized that the old money aesthetic trend is really youths trying to lure Q out

Pandemic Dreams 26

Had a deep conversation with Jason Isbell about Pokey LaFarge.

Pandemic Dreams 25

Drake was pursuing both me and one of my friends. He ordered a massage for me and then showed up when it was over. I asked him about the Birkin bag thing, and he was impressed that I had asked about the bags purely out of curiosity. He had similar nicknames for me and my friend, which was really annoying when she and I were hanging out and he was in the vicinity.

Pandemic Dreams 24

I was working in a mall I’ve never worked in, and there was a mall-employees-only bar in one of the back hallways. Dwayne Johnson was the bartender and was hyping me up to not take something at face value and totake the trash out from the store I worked in (I worked for that store, just in a *different* mall). Took a Teremana shot from him, then grabbed the trash and took it out to the dumpster past two or three very intimidating men by the door.

Pandemic Dreams 23

I’m graveside at a funeral. I don’t know who the decedent is/is supposed to be IRL, I might have known them in the dream - I don’t remember NOT knowing them, at least. Their body isn’t in a coffin, it’s on like a tray? made out of long branches/skinny logs with some material that the body is resting on? like a stretcher but with no wheels like you would see on M*A*S*H. Wearing a gray suit. The grave is dug to accommodate the exact shape of the stretcher thing - a long rectangle, but with precision dug notches to accommodate handles on the stretcher like a puzzle piece. The people in charge of carrying the head end of the stretcher drop it, and the body slides forward, so waist down is on the stretcher but waist up is hanging off the end. Someone mentions that the person is being buried with their sister and mother, but it’s just a very large child’s drawing of a woman shaped like a paper doll. Like a three foot paper doll. Body and stretcher make it into the grave, but body is basically standing up and the paper doll is sort of laying on the head.

Pandemic Dreams 22

Tried to unroll foil from the tube, but there was a kink at the top of the roll so it ripped along the top edge.

Renaming This Series Pandemic Dreams, so Pandemic Dreams 21

Smoking a cigarette on my balcony in a rain storm with another person (no memory or idea who it was). The balcony is actually a very long and wide asphalt-paved terrace, like it was actually a rooftop. The rain is intense and there is a massive amount of lightning. I remark to my companion that I know it’s dangerous but I’m going to smoke outside in the storm anyway. It’s a REAL lot of lightning and it’s striking the ground very close to us. It also struck a transformer, which put out a bunch of sparks and the power went out. I looked across the street and saw one of my friends on a bicycle. They get struck by lightning. They and the bike immediately take on a blue glow and hit the ground, and then they immediately jump up like a superhero and start flying towards my building cartoon style, leading with a closed fist. Rain and lightning continue.

Quarantine Dreams 20

Waiting for elevator in my building, but it wasn’t my building. A neighbor (not actually a neighbor, just some rando) came out of his apartment with a woman but weren’t near the elevator when it arrived, so I just got on. When I looked out the doors, I saw them right in front of them like they were going to get on, but made no effort to catch the doors. There was baggage on the floor of the elevator when I looked down (literal baggage, not whatever my brain is trying to work out with this anxiety dream). The elevator started going up, and I thought “Shit, I’m going to see them on the way down.” The doors weren’t closed all the way, and never opened all the way when the elevator got to the top of the building. It started going back down very slowly, with the doors partly open, but never stopped anywhere - I could see floors alternate with light the whole way. I tried to pry the doors open so I could hop out (it was VERY slow, or else I’m subconsciously more of a daredevil than I actually am), but all that did was deploy some kind of curtain that unfurled. When the elevator finally stopped it wasn’t on the first floor, like the elevator shaft went down one extra “floor” but just straight into the ground. I immediately started dreading what the firefighter who would have to help get me out through the roof hatch of the elevator was going to say about having to lift me at my size.

Quarantine Dreams 19

Woke up in bed with (lover? co-sleeper?) Henry Cavill. It was dark, which meant it was time to get up and go. I got out of bed and started to dress in regular clothes, even though I didn’t want to leave. Halfway through dressing, the sun was all the way up all of a sudden. I looked over to see Henry still asleep, facing away from me in dark pants and no shirt, and knew that since the sun was up, I didn’t have to leave.

Quarantine Dreams 18

Got a news alert that Chris Hemsworth died. Some time later, got a news alert that Chris Evans died.

safety-officer-barto:

I don’t even watch or know anything about Hockey but god damn if it isn’t the wildest sport in existence.  Like, you have these huge dudes, like, over 6 feet tall, 200+ pound guys, whipping around on ice with the grace and poise of professional figure skaters, all while lugging around 10-17 pounds of padding and a fucking stick, that they use to fucking rocket this tiny puck around to each other with pinpoint accuracy.  And then in a fraction of a second they could be fucking bare-knuckle brawling, just beating the absolute shit out of each other.  And it’s all legal.  Like

Hockey is on its waaaaaaaaay

(via craxy)

Quarantine Dreams 17

I am friends with The Washington Capitals. Somehow all of them, and their families. We’ve all been missing items in our grocery orders, it’s a real problem. Specifically, Nicklas Backstrom was missing some juice and wasn’t happy about it. 

I was hosting a players-only meeting at my house (not *my* house, but the house I grew up in, which is in no way set up architecturally to hold 23 hockey players, or really even 23 regular sized people, for a meeting). TJ Oshie was already at the house and mentioned how bad the grocery situation has been getting, and I was like, yeah, a lot of you all have said something about it. 

I glanced out the window from the front room on the second floor to see if anyone else had showed up, and about 17 people had or were in the process of exiting a regular-sized black Mustang convertible. Clown car, but for hockey players. You could see the car rise up a little bit with every person who exited.

Quarantine Dreams 16

1. Had a penis. A big one.

(bathroom wakeup)

2. Lived in the house I grew up in with my partner, a lawyer who dressed like George Washington in full Army General regalia. No wig though. He had black hair.